I chose to begin my letter of repentance with the church because I believe true reconciliation begins with the party who holds the power to create the offense. But I would be remiss if I failed to acknowledge that while many Black churches dropped the ball, there were and are several churches and leaders who got burned in the cross fire. There are grandmothers who kept our secrets and prayed ‘til the sun came up. Mothers who dragged us to church because that was the only place we had a male figure to love us with the love of a father. Fathers who requested the help of church mothers because he had no idea what to do after his wife passed away. Often times, the church was home away from home and many times, folks tried their best. The weight of the world outside our homes was so heavy, church was the place to breath, to re-up, and to be reminded that they did not have to fix the problems of the world on their own. As the society and culture around us changed, and many of us had liberties unknown to our families and ancestors, we lost respect and reverence for the structures and people who made it possible for us to live our lives “better” than they did. Our glue lost its adhesiveness.

And for these reasons, on behalf of all the prodigals, we repent for:

• Exercising the spirit of entitlement and not recognizing or appreciating your sacrifice and struggle
• Taking our issues with you to public forums by way of degrading and defaming
• Abandoning wisdom for the sake of personal rights and choices
• Discouraging others from coming to you
• Dishonoring you in the way we left
• Placing you where God needs to be
• Treating you like less than because we earned degrees you were never afforded the opportunity to
• Making a mockery of the faith that helped you stay alive in a time when everything the world had in place was set up for you to die
• Reducing your importance to religious customs
• Expecting perfection from you
• Choosing to skip the classes and teachings you set in place
• Making excuses for all of our actions without extending grace to you
• Behaving as if we have all the answers
• Belittling you

It is not easy nor is it encouraged for those who have been hurt to admit that we have a part in the severing of relationships. Most people who have left the church may never want to return. As I mentioned in Part 1, this total healing cannot be done by the Black church alone, for God is not limited to Black and White race relations in America. But I believe God has prepared people who are willing to do the work and assist in you getting your healing. It is my prayer that as individual believers we begin to understand the importance each of us has to the larger body. As we take personal responsibility for our own spiritual health, may our God show up as our healer, in the most miraculous of ways. May you begin to physically feel the yokes of bondage break away from you as you leave bitterness, hurt, disappointment, pain, and regret in your past. May all of your experiences be used to share of the goodness of our Father who loves you and only wants what’s best for you. Together, may we bridge the gap, and may the name of God be glorified.

Love always,

AC Jacobs