I’ve always had a problem with ending relationships, or accepting that they aren’t what they once were. Since I have not been able to find a healthy way to deal with these types of situations, I hold on to friendships that don’t necessarily benefit me. I give when I shouldn’t. I allow things I shouldn’t, and somehow, I still manage to find a reason to keep those friendships. As I’ve gotten older and as my life has begun to take a turn for the better, it is becoming more and more obvious that there are some things and people I have to let go of in order for me to move on. The most important aspect of a friendship is knowing that whether you are in the worst condition you have ever been in or the absolute best you could have ever dreamed of, you know that friend still genuinely loves and cares for you the same way she did when your friendship first began. I’ve accepted that I don’t have to talk to someone everyday, or even every month, to share a closeness with her. I don’t have to agree with her lifestyle or decision making and she doesn’t have to agree with mine in order for us to be friends. So how do you know who is a real friend?
Understand that there will be times when life interferes with genuine feelings and people will find a hard time being as happy for you as you think they should, especially if they aren’t doing the best for themselves. But, if you are in a state of happiness, or even contentment, and the people around you find ways to disturb your peace, reevaluate that friendship or relationship. Check to see if it is balanced or if you are holding on to something that was once there. A friend will prove that your happiness means as much to her as her owns. If this fails to surface, it’s time for you to move on. If a problem arises in a friendship and you try to reconcile it but the other party makes no effort, it’s time for you to move on. If you are at home thinking of ways to make that person feel better and mend a friendship you once valued and that person is out partying, not caring about your feelings, it’s time for you to move on. This doesn’t mean you can’t love them or even still care about them. It simply means you recognize the relationship for what it is, and you move on.